Starting a War

No one likes you. You know it. There is nothing you can do about it. You just have to accept it and try to find a dark corner to live out your miserable life in. Unless you find a group of people who are also loathed and come together to solve all your problems. Nothing brushes problems under the sofa like a nice long war. Try it, there is no doubt that it may make your problems go away temporarily. Its not like the people that die like you. Nobody likes you, not now, not later, not ever. The only hope you have is to distract them from you. War is a great distraction, whether it be grief or fear, no one can ignore a big long war. As long as you a megalomaniac, or insurmountably greedy, then war is the answer for you. All you need to do is follow the methods that have started countless wars.
If inciting a war is in your future, then you must have a group of associates that share your dream. They must be as despicable as you. You must hate them as much as they hate you. They must be as greedy and self centered as you. Only your shared dream of war and chaos can bring you together. If Samuel Adams, John Hancock, and Paul Revere had not all wanted trade without taxation. If they had not all wanted war wholeheartedly, then the American Revolution would never have taken place. No other reason would bring these smugglers together to bring Briton’s colonists into civil war. You must find people whose greed is on par, or even greater than that of these men.
You need an argument to give your war some reason, no matter what it is. It could be a lie, a skewed truth, or even a real problem that is plaguing the people. It doesn’t matter. The argument must be one that the mob will be receptive to. This part can be difficult, or it can be simple. It depends on the aura of the people. If they are disgruntled or scared, then it becomes easier to convince them. If they are mostly content, you must change that. Skew an action of the target for war. Turn one death into a massacre. Turn one isolated event into a repeating pattern. If nothing is available to skew, or you are to lazy to look. Then coming up with a complete lie is always viable.
Just because most wars have been started by megalomaniac dictators doesn’t mean that your average person can’t start a war. Although being incredibly rich and insane is required. Once your war is under way you could even become dictator. Then you could start your next war with very little trouble. You could keep starting wars until there is no one left to fight. Which means only you are left alive. All your problems would then be solved.